Flip Phone Chronicles

The chronicles of the life of a Millennial in the modern world with a dumb phone.

Beatrixe

Oh, dear Beatrixe. I saw you see me, and that was enough to tell me everything through the noise. Walking past you was my first reply, embodying the city below me was my next. I didn’t have a plan when I grabbed your wrist, and that’s why you loved it.

Hi, I said. I can’t dance, you said. You told me your name, I didn’t hear you. I told you I had no girlfriends, you didn’t believe me. Why doesn’t anybody else dance? We danced for them because this floor is ours and you mine.

I still don’t hear your name. You said you like tall guys. Is that what Spanish girls like? Your lips burned all of the fire we had for the night into mine, and I swept you across the bar because I could. Your friends don’t understand, so they rushed us from behind. You are too attractive for them anyways. Now they insist you leave with them, and you can’t say no.

When I finally whip it out you are amazed. Is that T9? You hadn’t seen a flip phone since High School, so I make you write your name. Beatrixe. You didn’t mean to spell it like that but now I have something to work with. You pressed your lips to mine and were gone; it took you longer to write your name.

My friends swore they never saw you but they are just like your friends. I saw you again on the street and you rushed me for another kiss; strangers we never were as strange we are to strangers.

Even though you didn’t remember me the next day our night was always meant to be. I know how to spell your real name and you know I was just a passionate passerby. Your number was promptly deleted.

At the risk of starting a new hipster trend, I’ve decided to document what life is like in the modern world with a flip phone. How has switching from an iPhone to the LG Exalt brought me so much amusement that I’ve started blogging about it? A few reasons:

  1. I’m a Millennial and this puts me in an alienated minority in my generation
  2. The reactions from others has been a case study in psychological projection and others’ refusal to take action
  3. To document the real differences I’ve noticed in myself and lifestyle without a smartphone

Disclaimer: I still own my iPhone and tend to use it when I’m on Wifi, but in a far different manner than I did before at my peak addiction.

Any cheap humor aside, I’ve made enough discoveries and have had enough notable interactions with strangers and friends that I couldn’t resist writing about it.

So I’d like to welcome you to the Flip Phone Chronicles.

And I’d like to start off by telling you something you already know about yourself:

You know that you frequently use your smartphone and often have difficulties releasing your hand from its grips.

You know that your smartphone is valuable tool and a godsend in human evolution, although it often controls you more than you’d like it to.

And you know that instant connectivity, unlimited dopamine rushes, and endless jingles are oftentimes worth more than where you are in the moment.

This is not a series designed to shame or signal a sense of superiority, but a case study in personal development, human psychology, and thriving in the modern world.

Instead, I’ll satisfy that nagging curiosity you’ve had about living in an overly connected world without a smart phone, and I’ll show you why that statement is not as ridiculous as it sounds.